Lebanese/Black, 26, travel, cars, adventure, instagram @TripleFat
Don’t look back, always ahead. The past has nothing left to say, even if you want it to.
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I miss my brown eyed girl. She made other plans and I guess I should have done the same. But I don’t know how to choose anyone but the best… Or love someone because their just what’s left.
I can’t be with someone that can’t tell me what’s wrong. That can’t tell me how their feeling even if they don’t know why their feeling that way. I can’t play the silent treatment games to get attention as if your going through something I could never understand. I want to communicate with you, solve problems with you but, you don’t want peace. Were just different people I guess, and so I’m done. I wish I could find someone that wants to be, wants us to be. But I guess it’s just me.
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There is a lot of chance or “luck” in life. Maybe you will be born rich or maybe you’ll be born poor. Maybe you will be physically gifted or maybe you’ll be born physically disabled. But that luck doesn’t end at birth it continues through out each and every one of our lives, everyday another roll of the dice. And love is no exception. I used to think luck didn’t apply in love. That everyone was replaceable and even though it may hurt at the time, with time it will pass and they will be replaced with another. But it would seem that as time passes and my theory is tested that was only half true. The pain true love leaves behind does lessen over time but the void it leaves behind, the effect it has on your being at the core level, that is forever marred. The number of unhappy people I see on a daily basis is evidence to that. True love isn’t common. Very few ever find it and even fewer are lucky enough to realize it at the time. And then after all of that still fewer are in a position to grasp it. Don’t be fooled by all the smiling faces you see and the “I do’s” you hear, how many last? People fool themselves into settling. Frighten themselves with the prospect of being alone with their thoughts. Thoughts that could be put towards the works of so many fine things. As if to not attain love in it’s realist sense is to fail. True love should be viewed in the same light as a born attribute gained by no merit but chance. Not finding it doesn’t make you a failure anymore than not becoming a professional athlete. It’s a lofty goal that most will never achieve regardless of how much they try. But try you still should… Because experiencing it if even only for a moment is one of the greatest joys in life. I wrote this for a friend going through a hard time. I thought that in writing this perhaps I could help in some small way. However it makes me realize the flaws in my own relationships. The constant searching for a replacement to something I had lost, never quite feeling right but hoping that the next one will. When all along failing to appreciate the experience and memories that I was fortunate to have. And although maybe I wasn’t as lucky in the way things turned out, meeting her was still the luck of the draw.
I wonder if she sees the same sky I see. Lost in the same star I see.
Dreaming of the place I see.
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Still hanging around 190lbs+- Going to try harder to keep my Macros up between 3200-4000 a day so I can hit the 200lbs mark.
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Seeing my little brother was definitely the highlight of my day. He’s always so happy to see me and he gives the best hugs. In fact I think he’s the only person I really hug anymore. I can’t wait until he can talk because I can tell he has so much he wants to say. For now he is a good listener though. As I try to explain to him my various mistakes and life lessons.
Anonymous said: is anyone ever worth the risk? theres always soo much to lose.
I used to think so but maybe your right.
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